Speculationification

I’m always surprised when I find someone who knows not the joys of the great “what if.” To speculate, to me, is the greatest joy. I think I could find contentment, even if I were a burn victim or confined to a deathcamp—even if I had to sit through endless hours of in-service—so long as I am able to speculate.

I’ve nurtured this in my children. We invented characters and stories together for 13 years at bedtime. We sat around weekend mornings and played invention, where we’d just roll out products and the problems they addressed: “I’d make a wipenator, so you didn’t have to do it yourself,” or “You know how you can never get some people to stop talking? I’d invent a Stopenator. It’d just freeze them in place until I was out of range.”

In honor of one of my favorite things to do, I’m going to list some speculative stuff, and I hope my blog readers will add to it in comments with their own fresh ideas.

(These often, but are not required, to start with ‘what if’ to get the ball rolling.)

What other substance, like ice, might really mess with our reality, make us clumsy or silly or undignified like a good slip on the ice? Maybe gravity fluctuates unpredictably? Maybe sound carries too far?

What if we all had to learn like Hellen Keller? she was deprived of senses, but overcame. If that happened from birth to 5, say, imagine the changes to our learning styles and the complications we’d face.

What if we never, ever got angry? I’ve heard anger is just a crusty surface emotion we use to shield ourselves from the pain behind it. What if we did not employ such a shield? Instead of carrying on and saying hateful things about someone, I own up to the underlying emotion: I’m hurt, let’s say, because s/he didn’t follow through on something, and I’m taking it personally, and in a knee-jerk reaction, disparaging their person.

What if we could grow appendages at will?

What if we had to get permission from a deity just to eat?

What if sleep was painful?

What if swimming were our primary mode of transportation?

Why don’t we build our environment sensibly, like it once was, with the market on the corner and the porches and sidewalks welcoming interaction with our neighborhoods?

What if we all spoke in sign?