Internal Entertainment

So, even if I were laid up in a hospital or prison (not that either is in the cards for me, I hope), I would be entertained.

In fact, I think one of the worst ideas ever was to put television sets in hospital rooms. If I am there to convalesce, then I don't want to be consumed by commerce...but that's another topic.

If I were reduced to little but a torso and head, I would find ways to be entertained, amused, engaged. If I could not even communicate with others, if my realm were no more than what was before my eyes and beneath my eyelids, I'd be fine.

How can I say such things? because I have an imagination. I pity those who do not. I just wag my head at those who boo-hoo about boredom. People whine about "needing" a budget for movies, bars, books, drugs, travel, etc...

I’ve written previously about my “internal iPod,” or in more modern terms, my internal, streaming, playlist. I was surprised to learn how few people can constantly hear music in their heads.

I’m surprised again, to learn how few can command their dreams. I’m writing here of lucid dreams. I can drift in/out of consciousness so fluidly that the line can be blurred (on purpose, but also sometimes by circumstance). My life is Inception or The Matrix. (Maybe that's why I like those films so much!)

Almost any night, I can take the ephemeral reigns of my dreams and guide the coursers where I wish. Thus, I am my own production studio. I don't need CGI, for I have, again, imagination. While movies attempt to simulate the power of creative imagination and dreams, I am actually at the helm, the control panel, and I can tweak and twist one hell of a series of images, seemingly all night long. No, I don't have mastery of this, and I doubt anyone does. I do, however, have a gift at envisioning whatever I want and then actuating it in my sleep.

My sleep self and I are pretty tight buds. I know this is not the case for many people. They are astounded at what may bubble up from their dreams. They blush and burble over the intricate sensuality perking and lurking just behind the REM.

While I think of all this as a gift, the truth might be less glamorous. Some studies I have read just chalk it up to sleep deprivation. As has been proven already in my life, I am suffering from severe sleep apnea. That would mean, by default, that I am actually getting very little restorative sleep. That's the down side. On the up, however, those with my condition slip into REM much more efficiently than the average sleepy head. We milk the moment for all it is worth.

Wish I were so efficient in my waking life.

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