Winning?

Bootstrapping, in the entrepreneur’s frame of reference, is challenging. I am keeping good records on costs/return in this business of writing, and though I’ve sold over 50 copies of my book now (wow, who would have ever guessed!) I am still not breaking even. Whenever—if ever—I come out of the red, into the black, I’ll change my description on facebook from “aspiring” author to Author. It seems disingenuous to claim I’m a profitable Author until I (mathematically) am one.

Whenever I confess I’m a published author, people ask, “Really? Who’s your publisher?” When I admit I’m self-published, they generally say, “Oh, that’s too bad.”

The truth is, I like being an Independent Author, for I have no publishing house, agent, etc. breathing down my neck. I have no deadlines other than my own. I have no obligations to do book tours or anything else. These days, even represented authors have to do the same self-promotion as an Indie, and even though they do, they suffer tremendous profit losses to their publisher.

So, I don’t find being Independent and self-published to be shameful. I find it to be good business. Even at this current status, I am giving big percentages to distribution and sales venues. Maybe in the future, I’ll dispense even with that, like my role model Derek Sivers. In the meanwhile, I’m eyeing Kickstarter as an in between step (more on this later).

If, after six weeks, I am still not operating in the black, aren’t I a failure? How am I measuring success? Obviously, I’m not able to live off of the income of my writing yet, maybe not ever.

This is not a get-rich-quick scheme.

How I do measure success, then? As I have had on the front page of my site, I finally followed through on a promise to myself and my would-be readership. I finished writing a book. Furthermore, I polished and published that book. Now, this piece, sharing, showing and telling of this book—the hardest step—is underway. Overcoming each obstacle and complication has been one success after another.

Daily interest from my friends and followers is another measure of success. It’s terrifying and terrific to find that people are into my work. Interaction with you further suggests my success. Feedback on what worked (even what didn’t) in my first novel and here on this site—all of it is adding to this “mountain of evidence” that I’m succeeding.

Some of my readership has expressed becoming obsessive over my first book—what a complement! It has led them to escape reality a bit, caused them to put aside the daily grind in favor of a ‘good read.’ That’s a huge success for me, winning in a toe-to-toe bout with your daily realities.

I have one measure of success that is very deeply personal, one likely only a parent can fully appreciate. I am happily surprised that some people bought my novel. I am thrilled that so many have invested in me. One person, however, inadvertently has made me feel like more of a success than all the above in this blog post…I have four kids, and they have each expressed some interest or curiosity at what I do in my pandemic closet. One was even a beta reader of Lightning’s Hand and offered keen insights into the revisions. Another—a non-reader who lives only in reality, he being a live-time, good-time, fulltime athlete—has never said much about my writing, but he did something that makes me swell up just to think about it:

A little over a month ago the first draft copy of the book was setting on a side table in the kitchen. This kid took interest in it, took a picture of it, and…get this….the highest endorsement of his generation…posted a Snap of it for all his friends to see. In his world, dressing out a deer or overhauling an engine or stitching up your own injury is worthy of praise. His culture is all about bravado and beer bongs. Heroes and celebs in his society are powerlifters and lumberjacks. If I can make him proud of his ol’ man, then that’s success-enough for me. I have arrived!

Emerson says it best:

“To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”